Loving A Person, Not Their Gender...


Did you ever read Social Media and the Myth of PerfectionWearing History's thought-provoking post back in May really resonated with me, especially the part where she shared old blog pictures coupled with a brief description of what was really going on in her life at the time. About 19 months ago, my beautiful girlfriend (my then boyfriend) told me she is transgender, meaning the gender she was assigned at birth didn't match how she felt inside. The first couple of months were tough on us both - for her finally admitting and accepting her truth, and for me getting to grips with what it meant for our future. Truth be told, I still feel a little melancholy looking back at photos from that time, especially the ones in this post and this post, where I was feeling at my absolute lowest. Yet, you probably would never have guessed something was up, right? It's a great reminder for me to think of the human behind the blogger, no matter how polished a blogger might appear. Not that I count myself as a polished blogger by the way!

As a firm believer that life is too short to live a lie, I've been supportive of my girlfriend from day one. But her news left me struggling to see how our nine-year relationship could continue. As someone who identifies as heterosexual living in a heteronormative society, I was unsure when she asked me to continue to love her and not her gender. I can't tell you how happy I am that I delved into educating myself on transgender matters, speaking to people with experience and generally opening my mind like never before.

With my existential crisis under control, it all boiled down to the fact that this beautiful human being had carried this burden with her since her early teens, so I'm just grateful that she finally addressed it and trusted me with it. She started her medical transition just over a year ago with Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and over the next  few months and years there will be other changes too. Our recent trip to Spain was so she could undergo Facial Feminisation Surgery. It was gruelling (for us both), but she's recovering really well and is looking incredible already! If you've been a long-standing fan of my partner's hilarious comments about my makes, fear not, for Charlotte is just as honest and opinionated!

As you can imagine, I've learned an awful lot over the last 19 months. I'm truly grateful to have met some wonderful friends through this journey and to have had the opportunity to grow as a person too. I've also heard heartbreaking stories of the many transgender people who have suffered abuse, rejection, loss...all for daring to be true to themselves. It makes me all the more grateful for the love and support of all of our friends and family...without them, this journey would have been much harder for us both.

Being transgender isn't a choice, but choosing to transition in a society that still has a long way to go in embracing diversity is incredibly brave. For this reason alone, I've never felt prouder of my excruciatingly shy Charlotte, who has faced her journey to date with a lot of patience and grace.

By the way, in case you've been wondering about the shirts pictured above, this post has everything to do with sewing! Initially, I liked the idea of holding on to memories of my partner by using old shirts to create a 'memorial' quilt, much like Handmade Jane did beautifully here and here. But I've realised that I don't want to mourn a person who is still very much alive and well. We still have our cherished memories and we're busy creating more.


I did hold on to two shirts though...because double gauze is just too good to part with. Charlotte's pretty slim so they're certainly not big enough to refashion for myself, but if we do decide to have children down the line I can use them to make something sweet and snuggly then.


I'm also way more excited about the prospect of making clothes for Charlotte now than I ever was before, so watch this space. I mean, I'm still too selfish to go all out, but the odd present now and again might be nice. I started how I mean to go on earlier this year, by making her double gauze, hippo-print pyjama bottoms for Valentine's Day. Aren't they cute?!? 

It's been a rollercoaster of a journey so far, but the most important lesson I've learned, is that it's absolutely possible to love a person and not their gender. Love is just love. If it's genuine and strong, it doesn't change or diminish just because circumstances have.


Anyway, if you've made it to the end of this epic post, then thank you. To find out more about the challenges transgender people often face and why it's absolutely crucial that we show support and understanding, please watch this feature on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.

140 comments:

  1. You are really cute and brave, both of you! Congratulations for this new important step, I wish you a lot of happiness and of course a good snuggly use of those tshirts ;)

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  2. I think it's amazing that you have been so supportive of Charlotte. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  3. Am in awe of the openess and bravery of you both. Px

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  4. I am proud to call you my friend. I'm jealous of Charlotte's pyjamas, though!

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  5. Wow Marie, I'm blinking away tears as I write this... I'm in awe of your collective bravery - not only the courage and strength it must have taken for Charlotte to come out as transgender, but also the bravery on your part to accept and understand and support. I'm sure that an incredibly difficult couple of years for Charlotte was made all the sweeter for having a rock like you to stand by her side and love her unconditionally throughout. Congratulations to you both, and here's to the start of a wonderful life together lived fully, honestly and openly! xxxxx

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  6. Thumbs up! Very sweet and brave.

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  7. Congratulations to both of you. It can be difficult to follow your heart when the world puts labels on everything and what that means. I enjoyed reading your story and feel inspired by your strength.

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  8. Best wishes to you both. I'm sure your openness and courage will make it easier for others to show the world their true selves.

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  9. What an incredible story and you have both had a lot to deal with it sounds. There is no doubt that at the beginning of this story is a very strong and loving relationship and long may it continue to grow with the changes ahead xxx

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  10. Love is love and how wonderful that you both have that. Wishing you both future happiness. X

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  11. Thank you for sharing your story, you both look very lovely! I look forward to seeing more of your makes for Charlotte x

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  12. Bravo my dear, brave friend. Here's to a very happy future for you and your beautiful Charlotte. xxxx

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  13. This is a really lovely post, thank you for sharing and congratulations to Charlotte and you!

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  14. Wow, what a brave step for both of you. Congratulations on making it together and good luck for your next steps.

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  15. Thank you so much for sharing this. So glad to hear that the two of you have held on to something so precious. Good luck navigating the next part of your adventures together.
    Shona

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  16. Sending lots and lots of love your way!

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  17. I am so incredibly happy and excited for you both. It must have been a huge relief posting these words. True love conquers all! xxx

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  18. Wow - what an experience you've been living through. I think it's awesome that you're able to accept this change with such grace so that you can continue to be with the person you love.

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  19. Thanks you so much for your bravery in sharing this. And to Charlotte for her bravery in having you share her story as well. Can't wait to see more of your awesome creations on both you and her!

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  20. Love truly does conquer all. Wishing you both every happiness.

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  21. Such a moving post - choking away the tears. I wish you both all the best.

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  22. Thank you so much for sharing! I'm full of admiration and respect for you both (and your friends and family for their support), and wish you both much happiness - I've no doubt going through this together will have made you a stronger couple than ever x

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  23. Wow! I have tears in my eyes because I am in absolute awe of both you. You are both so incredibly brave, and I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it has been for both of you. I agree that love is love and kudos to you for embracing that. I think people often forget how difficult this journey is for the people who love someone is transgender too. I wish you both nothing but more love and happiness and I look forward to seeing all the things you make for Charlotte too. Thank you for sharing.

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  24. What a touching post, thanks for sharing, it can't have been an easy transition for either of you,
    Here's to new beginnings, I wish you both love and sunshine.

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  25. Beautiful post. I hope the remainder of the transition goes well - both the medical & emotional sides. Sending love to you both & looking forward to seeing the new makes. P.S. Charlotte is THE best name;)

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  26. You have written this so beautifully. I have the utmost respect for you both & I wish you both many more years of happiness together x

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  27. It's really wonderful that you felt comfortable sharing this; both of you. I have a dear friend who's recently been in a nearly identical situation, and while things have not gone as smoothly as they have for you two, she and her now ex still have a supportive, amicable relationship and share custody of their son. Best to you and Charlotte!

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  28. A moving story, told with honesty and love - all best wishes to you both for the future x

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  29. It's great that you shared this publicly - we have an aunt who recently made a similar life change and they are now so much happier. Wish you both all the happiness :-)

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  30. A beautifully written post. It's really brave of you both to share your story so honestly. Best wishes to you and Charlotte for the future!

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  31. I wish more of people had both Charlotte's and your courage and strength of character. I have a lot of friends who don't fit into what society thinks of as "heteronormal". Life is fun
    Thank you both for sharing and I wish you all the happiness.

    Chris

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  32. Wow, thank you so much for sharing. Love and best wishes to you both x

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  33. This post--namely, the touching display of love and understanding within it--brought tears to my eyes. I am genuinely happy for you both. Thank you for sharing this with us.

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  34. Just lovely, thank you for sharing.
    All the best for your future together, from your post, I think it will be a long one xox

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  35. You are truly a wonderful person Marie. I wish you and Charlotte all the best. May you continue to love each other, and have have a life filled with happiness, strength and love.

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  36. I wish you and Charlotte all the best.

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  37. Such a moving and thought provoking story, it would make an amazing film! Wishing all the very best to you both.

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  38. Wow, this was a really inspiring read. You're an amazing couple and I wish you all the happiness!

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  39. Dear Marie and Charlotte, congratulations on your love and courage. As the friend of a transgender person I have seen the pain and resolve experienced when someone follows this path. I am saddened that it took my friend 44 years before she could finally make the changes needed. And it might yet cost her a much valued marriage. Good luck and my love to you both.

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  40. Thank you for sharing your story, both the hardships and the beauty. <3

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  41. Thank you for this post-- you've said some really, really important things which need to be said! It sounds like you're both really beautiful people, and although things certainly haven't been easy for you, it's inspiring how well you're facing it.

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  42. Thank you for being so open and honest with your blog readers and sharing what is a big change for both you and Charlotte. You are both very brave and with each others support there is nothing that will stop you. Love and hugs to both of you xx

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  43. I loved reading this. Thank for sharing charlotte. It made me cry xx

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  44. Wow! Kudos to you for sharing this enormous news. We have a politician here in Australia that went through much the same experience, she is still in politics and if you google Janet Rice, Australian politician, transgender spouse you will see her story....it may help to see how others have gone before you. I am a generation older than you but my children have taught me how gender is fluid and love is love. At the end of the day, there is only love. xxxxxx

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  45. Thank you for writing so openly about it! both of you are stunning, inside and out

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  46. Wow what courage both you & Charlotte have, in making this journey and in sharing it. Wishing you lots of happiness, love, and support in the rest of Charlotte, and your, journey together.

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  47. Hooray for Charlotte's appearance starting to match her inner being! Thank you for sharing, I can't imagine how much of a challenge this has been for you and her over the months. Happy to hear that emotions are on the upswing. I truly feel that the more we normalise things are currently against the status quo, the easier it will get for the next generation. And that's an amazing bonus for just choosing what's best for you.

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  48. You are both so brave and have been through so much to get here. I am so proud to know you and wish you both all the happiness in the world together, you beautiful couple xx

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  49. Another reader with tears in my eyes here! I can't put into words how brave and wonderful I think you and Charlotte are. I wish you both all the happiness in the world, you totally deserve it. Lynne xx

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  50. Thank you for sharing your story, what a strong couple you must be. A real testament to the love you share. Congratulations that you are now in a position to share your news. And ps: great pyjamas. X

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  51. I am in awe of both your's and Charlotte's bravery and honesty and incredible strength. I really hope that you have an amazing future together and enjoy writing the next chapters of your lives. You've always been an inspiration Marie, on the sewing side of things, and come across as someone with an amazing heart and soul. I don't want to be trite or write anything cliched and I'm afraid I can't express adequately what I want to say to you both, so I'll leave with wishing you both every happiness, love and continued strength.

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  52. what a lovely read on my commute today. Cheered me up - thank you for sharing and best of luck to you both! x

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  53. What a great post and a gorgeous picture of you both at the end! You are both so brave marie (and charlotte! ) and I am so happy that love seems to have conquered all! Hope the recovery from surgery isn't too bad. Lots of love.

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  54. Beautiful post - I've always thought this was true and you two seem to prove it. Good luck to you both xx

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  55. What a beautiful and moving post Marie, your love for Charlotte shines through in your writing.

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  56. This is amazing! You are such a courageous and strong person with a big heart to stay with Charlotte through everything. Just last week I was discussing a story about a couple like you two with my boyfriend, loving the message (loving a person's soul not their gender). It's so brave of you both to share your story with us! All the best! xx

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  57. Dear Marie, this is such an incredible and admirable announcement. It is something that I have felt very strongly about for some time. It pains me to imagine a life where you are forced to deny your very being, or what you feel you are, due to the never-ending list of constraints put upon us from birth, society, religion...it goes on. Having recently become a Mum, I look at my baby and one of my biggest wishes is that she always knows she can tell me anything - and that she can be anything she wants. For Charlotte to be able to find a path through what must have been some very dark days is so wonderful - your support and strength is inspirational. I hope that the struggle is now becoming something of the past and that you can both enjoy an awesome, free and happy future. You're both super stars and I wish you all the best! xxx

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  58. Hi my love,

    Just read this and got choked up. They say love is the thing and clearly that couldn't be truer in the case of you and your beloved. I've always thought of you as so beautiful and now I know your secret. You've got the most beautiful soul and it can't help but beam out of your face. You make a beautiful couple together. I always two people in love are the most gorgeous we can look in this world :) I wish you both a life where you have all the happiness your hearts can hold xxx

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  59. I think this is the most beautiful post I have ever read. Bought tears to my eyes! So much bravery and love you have between you. *hugs*

    (Also - hippo pjs!! Fantastic!)

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  60. What a journey you've both been on, thank you for sharing your story and the message that love is love. Wishing you every happiness. And those shirts will make awesome small person clothes, I've just saved a few of my hubbies shirts from the charity bag for my daughters.

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  61. I remember the post on wearing history and it really struck a chord. It is the best of blogging when people feel they can reach behind the pictures and share what is going on- the human behind the blogger. Thankyou to you both for sharing xx

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  62. Wow, as curve balls go, that was a biggie! How marvellous that you have both found a way through. I can't imagine the challenges involved. So lovely and brave of you to share your story with us in the sewing community, and a good reminder that there is more to a person than the social media portrayal! Wishing you both lots of love and joy in your life together.

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  63. I'm so grateful for people like you who will openly talk about this crazy journey. My boyfriend came out to me as transgender a little over two years ago. We've now been together over five and I am excited to report he finally started testosterone this past week. There have been ups and downs, but most poignant is watching this person I love so much live their life as athentically as possible!

    Lots of love and luck,

    Nina

    p.s. I'm still waiting to make clothes for him as a LOT of body change are about to happen but he's itching for shirts that'll fit properly!

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  64. Thanks for sharing, im so happy for you both, i know it must have been very difficult but living your truth is so important and im sure charlotte is alot happier in her skin now, she looks beautiful and very happy. Thank for opening up to us, even though it can be a private matter, visibility leads to education and acceptance in the broader society. Charlotte you are loved and accepted x

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  65. Bravo to both of you! I wish you two so much happiness and love in the future xoxo

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  66. My comment last night got 'eaten' I think, and now I see that of course many, many others have said exactly the same thing! You are both so incredibly brave, and your post is so beautifully written. It takes so much courage to be so open, and your support and belief in Charlotte - your pride in her - really shine through in everything you've written. She's very lucky to have you! I can't imagine how difficult things must have been for both of you, and I guess sometimes still are or will be again. Wishing you all the love in the world as you continue your journey together!

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  67. Thank you so much for sharing this. An amazing story and you are both so beautiful, brave and strong. Wishing you so much love and happiness for your future. Love has no boundaries, or rules.

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  68. Bravo for sharing! And well done for finding a way to stay together. All the best to you both.

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  69. What an inspiring post and how wonderful to read a reminder that love can be strong enough to get you through the toughest of times. You're both very brave and I wish you all the best happiness. x

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  70. Had tears in my eyes by the time I got to the end of this lovely post Marie. I wish you both all the very best for the future and can't thank you enough for your honesty - I was definitely one of those people who never saw behind all those lovely posts I've kept to inspire me when and if I ever get the time. Sending you both HUGE hugs and good wishes xxx

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  71. Wishing you much happiness in the future. It may not always be easy but it will be worthwhile and life's too short not to be true to yourself. Those who understand and show compassion will never judge. X

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  72. I hope the future is bright for both of you very brave people.

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  73. What a wonderful post! Thank you for sharing this. Best wishes and happy sewing, as always!

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  74. Wow. That is a very impressive and thought-provoking story. I wish both of you the very best!

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  75. Huge congratulations, for sharing, for evolving together and being true... and what a wonderful read. Sending you both all the well wishes always... from here in Shanghai xoxo

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  76. A wonderful post, thank you so much for sharing. Wishing you both happy and fulfilling lives and let's hope all your followers can share a tiny bit of your journey.

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  77. I'm so proud of you, my friend. With all the major struggles and problems and issues of the world aside, it's such an incredible age we live in that Charlotte can find her true self and path to happiness, and with such a wonderful, compassionate and supportive partner by her side, to boot! "Love is love" is a common (and wonderful) phrase that's been passing around a lot since the US Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality, but love truly IS love. xx

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  78. What lovely words - thank you for sharing. A commenter above said you had a beautiful soul, and they are right. I wish you both oodles of joy and happiness!

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  79. I'm a long time quiet reader of your and other sewing blogs and NEVER comment, but this post is amazing and I wanted to share so much support!

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  80. Wow, Marie what a brave post and thank you for sharing yours and Charlotte's journey. Best wishes to you both.

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  81. Just chiming in to thank you for this lovely post....and to send some cyber love to you both!

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  82. Love is strong. Best wishes to you both.

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  83. Thanks so much for your frank and heartfelt post. My newly minted niece is making a similar journey, unfortunately not with such a loving partner. You are so lucky to have each other! I do believe we are all better when we are our most genuine selves with each other. It's a hard road, getting easier; much love to both of you, all good wishes!

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  84. There's not much to add to all the above, but I wanted to add my thanks for sharing and best wishes for all the future happiness. I was watching a random episode of Everybody Loves Raymond last night, where the mom lectures her family on what a marriage is. The bottom line (to me anyway) was you commit to someone you love and then ride it through to the end. Every relationship has its challenges, it's highs and lows, you love them and hate them depending on the day and circumstances, but real happiness comes from finding that right partner and sticking it out. I'm so happy for you, as you both seem to have met your match!

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  85. Best wishes to both of you! You are both such wonderful women! :) <3

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  86. What an amazing story and journey! How lucky you both are to have found such a strong love.

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  87. So proud of you! And absolutely UNsurprised at your support and affection and honesty. You're one class act ;-)

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  88. A beautiful post and one that took a lot of courage for you both. I have been reading your posts for a good while now but I have added you to my blog, finally! Your comment about not being a polished blogger! Rubbish! You have given me the skills to be such a good Blogger from reading yours I wish you years of happiness together and look forward to your next instalment

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  89. Such courage from both of you! And such boundless love! Wishing you both a wonderful future.

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  90. A wonderful and inspiring post. You have both shown courage in sharing your story. Wishing you the best for a happy and healthy future.

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  91. Great post! Thanks for sharing your story.

    So exciting to be living now when transgender rights are in the media and on people's minds. More people in my life began transitioning in the last five years and it's been so important to me to hear their stories, and others, and just stay tapped into the whole conversation. Learning to be a good ally is so much more than calling yourself one, it requires a lot of education. And even though a lot of people would say that they're progressive and care for human rights, they're usually coming at it from a point of privilege where they really don't understand what it is to be gender non-conforming and learn what's helpful to do beyond using correct pronouns.

    Extremely hopeful for a more supportive system of health care, family, and community as time goes on.

    (Aside) I really enjoyed these comics when I was first learning about what it means to be transgender, the Just So You Know books from Joey Alison Sayers, she's so awesome: http://www.jsayers.com/books.html

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  92. Really inspiring :) Wishing all the best to both of you, and sending lots of love

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  93. An open mind and heart are beautiful things, no? I am so excited and proud for both of you. Having been involved on the fringes of a gender transition, I can only stand up and applaud you both. Wholeheartedly. What sadly tears a lot of couples apart has seemed to make your relationship stronger. What a gift for Charlotte to trust you with her life-altering decision and what a gift you have given her to continue with your love for her and for each other.

    You both are amazing. Would that more people would come forward with their experiences and show the world that transgender and transitioning is not a thing to fear, but a thing to celebrate.

    With my love and respect,
    Sarah

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  94. A really brave & open post; it was just lovely to read. Lots of love and good wishes for the future xxx

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  95. Congrats to both of you. It's hard when your paradigm changes, but obviously you're both devoted to each other and will 'will-out' in the end.

    I've been on the other side - as a lesbian, and supporting my (then) partner transition to male. I felt like I lost my gay-identity as people assumed I was straight, but this was something they needed to do, and love I felt for them was more important than how people saw me.

    Its a long journey, and good luck to you both xx

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  96. You are both amazing! Congratulations to your beautiful girlfriend on her transition, and I will keep sending happy vibes your way.

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  97. How beautiful! You are lucky to have each other and to recognize what true love is so maturly. Thanks for sharing.

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  98. Wishing you both all the best for the future!

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  99. Marie I am in awe of your bravery and love for each other. You are an example of all that is right with the world x

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  100. Beautifully said. I wish you the best of luck and happiness.

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  101. I've been reading you for so long and, yes, you are right -- we always imagine that everything is going as swimmingly as our makes look. Reading this post, I feel so grateful to you for teaching me further about how we love. I wish you and Charlotte everything as you go through this new world together. xo

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  102. Both of you are brave and amazing, and thank you for sharing your story in such an honest, heartfelt way. Wishing you much love, light, and happiness <3x

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  103. Just catching up with my blogroll from vacation and saw your post. I do remember your posts and didn't think anything was happening behind the scenes. Thanks so much for sharing such intimate details on your blog and trusting us all with this. :) This makes me happy. Cheers for holding on to your love.

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  104. What a beautiful post! Much love to you both and best wishes as you continue this amazing journey together <3

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  105. A wonderful true love story. Continued happiness to you both.

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  106. a love for real not fade away... :)

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  107. In the time I've been following your blog, i came to the opinion that you are incredible. Now, I'm further convinced. I'm sure this post wasn't easy to write. Thank you for trusting us enough to share this amazing story. Stories like yours and Charlotte's are important and so encouraging. All my love to you both!

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  108. I have absolutely nothing useful to say but, you know... INTERNET HUGS.

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  109. Thanks for sharing. You are both incredible. (I don't know what else to say!).

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  110. I've got to say that I feel warm and fuzzy inside knowing how much you love each other. Because this world can always use a whole lot more love in it. Thanks for sharing this.

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  111. These are the loveliest words of unconditional love that I've ever read. Sending you both much love.

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  112. I watched every minute of that video and read every word of this blog. Right on! Will share that video now.

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  113. Thank you so much for sharing and to Charlotte for her amazing strength and courage! I wish you both all the best! xx

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  114. ❤️💙❤️ Wishing for ongoing love and happiness for the both of you!

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  115. Wow...Kudos to both of you for being so open and honest about this. I am so glad to see you guys are doing well and here's to loving whoever makes you happy! Also I am so delighted to see so many positive and supportive comments. Yay for a piece of the internet being wonderful and responding with love. I always knew sewers were the best! :)

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  116. Wow, that was an unexpected post. Congratulations for being able to keep the best parts of your relationship, and blessings for whatever the future holds.

    Holly

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  117. All the best to you both - what a brave and beautifully written post.

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  118. What a wonderful post! I'm sure things haven't been easy for both of you, but I love that love conquers all of those fears. This story brought tears to my eyes. Loved reading all the supportive comments here. Wishing you both all the best!

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  119. Love like that is such a difficult thing for others to understand sometimes, good luck to you both!

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  120. If you love someone and they love you, then that is all that matters. Wishing all the best to both of you!

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  121. This is such an inspirational post! Congratulations to both of you!!

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  122. This is so very touching, I'm overwhelmed to have just found your blog and within three minutes of exploring, be brought to tears. You're both so lucky to have each other and be able to walk through the world in love with one another as the people you really are.

    Not to mention the awesome sewing opportunities this new step presents! :)

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  123. The love that exists between two compatible souls is infinitely stronger than the love between two mere vessels. The world needs more love like yours <3

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  124. I can't imagine how tough it must have been for you both to face such big changes, but when you've got true love anything is possible. A very lovely love story :-) I hope you have many many more happy years together.

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  125. I can't imagine what you've gone though, but I'm glad you could open your eyes and your heart and be able to love.

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  126. Catching up with my blogroll after a couple of crazy weeks and I find this: the most inspirational and touching love story I ever read. Congrats to you both and thank you for sharing this amazing post.

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  127. Marie mou a very courageous and inspiring post! You have always been genuinely loving and caring so your amazing support and love does not come as a surprise. It is very brave and admiring of both you and Charlotte! I wish you always the best! You both always have my love and support. Maria xx

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  128. Wowee, felt a bit emotional reading this! Very happy for you both and what an amazing, supportive person you are.

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  129. One of my favorite local artists, Joe Reilly, says in a song that the room in our hearts is infinite. This is simply beautiful. I wish you and Charlotte nothing but the best.

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  130. What a wonderful inspiring post! As someone in a similar situation to Charlotte myself, I am also blessed to have a lovely wife who has always stood by me (when we married back in 2005, we even had a Pagan handfasting ceremony in our back garden where we married as wives too). I only formally started my transition on our 7th wedding anniversary back in 2012 though, when I changed my name by deed poll.

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  131. What a lovely inspiring post! I'm also going through the same journey as Charlotte at the moment, and am also feeling very blessed to be married to my wonderful wife, who has also stood by me throughout my transition. Someone I know said that only 5% of couples survive transition - so it's so lovely to hear that you are one of those too :)

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